Breaking Through to Teens: A New Psychotherapy for the New by Ron Taffel PhD
By Ron Taffel PhD
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Extra resources for Breaking Through to Teens: A New Psychotherapy for the New Adolescence
POP ED FOR CHILD PROFESSIONALS As you listen to kids’ pop culture tastes, it is essential that you actually have something to say. It may seem superficial or phony, but a 21st-century child professional is one who knows a lot about the pop culture world adolescents inhabit. As part of your preparation to effectively connect with kids, I urge you to check out the TV shows most adults reflexively steer clear of, believing (correctly) that they were not made for you. Take in movies you would naturally avoid, and become acquainted with music you may even have moral objections to.
Your active participation in building a three-dimensional relationship is essential for teens to feel. They need to “get” that you are right there, in the room, fully engaged and responsive. No wonder therapists report that, when working with adolescents, you must always be on. The edge of relatedness needs to be focused, flexible, heartfelt, and multidimensional. Nothing less can create a relationship substantial enough to cross the teen–adult divide, to contain the volatile nature of 21st-century teen life.
Sophisticated topics around manners, morals, and ethics unexplored by teens in earlier times are discussed and debated strenuously: how to initiate and end romances, what friends owe one another, how to regard infidelity in love relationships, and when and whether to share confidences. Once the code to their behavior is cracked, it becomes clear that they are not all what they seem to their horrified parents. 24 BREAKING THROUGH TO TEENS Once they begin to trust, they reveal themselves in yet another surprising way—capable of compassionate behavior that we would have found unthinkable during our own youth.